Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
