So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger