I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
These 23 People Had Sex With Someone From Completely Different Cultures
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
25 Medical Facts That Need To Be Common Knowledge
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts