I'm being pulled over???
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
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If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
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can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably