to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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