After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
50% drunk capacity currently
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
