Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
