So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
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He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
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"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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