Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
