But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize