yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
