One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
