Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
