well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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