Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
