if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
