i just made my gag reflex go away.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize