You work out of a Hotel?
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
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