Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
