I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
