omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
