i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day