Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize