haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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