getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
