dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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