she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize