Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
