Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
