Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize