So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
