I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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