He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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