ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
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The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
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Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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