He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
is wine microwaveable?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
