My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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