So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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