Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
