So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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