So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
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I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
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There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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