If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
