I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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