Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
