2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
