If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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