Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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