hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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