Heybabeimwearingurpanties
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
