I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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