I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
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