i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
