He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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