Moan for me like Helen Keller
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
we're making bets on your personal life
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
