some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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