Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
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