Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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