I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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