I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
