Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
